You are in a race, don't lose or die.
Simple. That's what makes the games so easy to pick up. All you need to know is what button you press to go 'vroom' and you're on your way to victory. At least, that what you think when you hear about the game. It's not until you actually play the games do you realize just how ass clenching they can be.
I could destroy a walnut right now.
If you'll notice the bottom right corner of that image, you may notice that Douglas Jay Falcon, or Captain Falcon, as he's more commonly known, is currently driving his F-Zero machine at a staggering 1233 km/h. or 766mph for you damn Yankees. That's roughly a mile every 5 seconds. The current land speed record is just under that number, and I'm pretty sure you can get faster in the game.
If you listen closely, you can hear the pilots screaming.
So yeah, that's the main selling point of F-Zero. It's like pod racing if it wasn't in a terrible movie. Just like pod racing, you can't just go driving willy nilly all over the damn place like Speed Racer's caffeine themed cousin. If you do you'll either hit the other racers and explode, or hit the side of the track and explode, or you'll send your vehicle flying off the side of the track, into an abyss, where you explode.
I fought the law, and the law exploded.
If you'll also notice, the track also isn't just some boring circle. It has loops and corkscrews and twists and turns and bells and whistles. It's literally a thrill ride.
Granted, the series didn't always look and play like this. It got it's start on the Super Nintendo where I can only assume the developers wanted this crazy, cocaine like racing game but had to settle for a much milder, simpler game.
Only 374 km/h? Why did we even bother.
Don't get me wrong, the original F-Zero is a great game. It was fast paced, had cool characters, and required an absurd amount of skill to master. Each track requiring pinpoint accuracy to set the best times. It wasn't until the sequel for the Nintendo 64, F-Zero X that we got what I believe Nintendo wanted all along. A crazy, intergalactic racing game with loads of characters and lots of roller coaster-esque tracks.
.png)
It's like Six Flags but with effort.
In addition to the tracks and face melting speeds, the characters are also something to write home about. They range from humans to aliens to robots to a damn T-Rex.
If you do, he'll eat you and then you'll explode.
The most famous of these characters is Captain Falcon. An F-Zero pilot and bounty hunter who has been in every game since the Super Nintendo. He was designed to be the poster child for the franchise but it wasn't until his inclusion in Smash Bros that he became the face of the series. In the F-Zero games he was hardly ever seen, but in Smash Bros., he was given character and a voice and fighting prowess. These things helped boost his popularity. Not to mention his trademark move, the Falcon Punch, has become a thing of legend.
Somewhere, somehow, a woman is now pregnant.
A few other notable characters include Samurai Goroh, Captain Falcon's Rival.
Arrr, I am not a pirate.
Blood Falcon, a clone of Captain Falcon, created specifically to beat Cap in a race and then kill him.
You know, cause he has a skull on his hat.
Also there's Jody Summer, who I'm sure Nintendo created because they noticed that F-Zero had become kind of a intergalactic sausage fest.
I don't think that's regulation race wear, MA'AM.
There have been 7 games in the series. F-Zero for the Super Nintendo, F-Zero for Nintendo 64, F-Zero GX for the Nintendo Gamecube, F-Zero AX for arcades, and 3 games for the Gameboy Advance that no one has ever played. F-Zero Maximum Velocity and F-Zero GP Legend both made it to the states while F-Zero Climax only came out in Japan because Nintendo realized no one was buying the other two Gameboy Advanced titles.
At least they look happy.
The GP Legend game was actually a tie in to an anime of the same name. I've never seen the anime personally, but I feel like I need to after seeing this clip of the show which I can only hope is how people in Japan say hello.
What friendly lads.
So there you have it. F-Zero is a adrenaline filled, sci-fi, racer that provided Smash Bros. 3DS with Captain Falcon as a playable character and Mute City, one of the more iconic tracks, as a stage.
Now you can smash at 700 miles per hour.
Fun fact: If it wasn't for Smash Bros, I never would have been introduced to the F-Zero franchise. Just another reason to like Smash. The same can, in no way, be said for the next series as it was more than just a game. It was a way of life.
No comments:
Post a Comment